Five Truths to Remember During Your Healing Journey

When you finally see how trauma shaped your relationships, your choices, even the way you speak to yourself, the awareness hits like lightning. And suddenly, you’re left standing in the debris of old survival patterns, wondering where to begin.

You might feel energized at first. Enlightened. But right underneath that? Overwhelmed. Because how do you build a life that’s yours when you’re not even sure what you look like yet?

In my own journey, I’ve circled through this phase more than once. Over time, five truths have helped me feel grounded again when everything else felt upside down, and I want to offer these to you as you move through this chapter in your journey:

Truth #1: You’re Not Broken

You're not damaged goods. You're not defective. You're someone who had to survive in a world that didn’t always make space for who you truly were.

For a long time, I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just “get it together” like everyone else. Why I would react in ways that felt too big, too much, or too withdrawn. But the truth is, I never had the same safety or stability others did. What I had was survival mode. And in cases like this, survival mode becomes a blueprint.

It wasn’t until everything finally blew up in my life, emotionally and relationally, that I was forced to look at the patterns I had been repeating. I felt like I was starting from zero. And worse, I felt like I didn’t deserve anything good because I’d “messed up too much.”

But I wasn’t broken. I was someone who had never been taught how to feel safe in their own skin. And now that I was aware of that, I could start to rewrite my story… And so can you.

Truth #2: You’re Not Behind

Trauma has a way of making us feel like we’ve missed the boat. Like life moved on without us, and now we’re stuck trying to catch up with everyone else.

When I was in my early thirties, I had a moment where I looked around and thought, “Is this it?” Other people seemed to have homes, families, steady careers. And I felt like I was just waking up to life for the first time, barely out of survival, with no clue how to live.

But I realized something vital: healing is a restart, but it’s not a regression. The truth is, most people never stop long enough to do this kind of work. They keep running on autopilot. You, on the other hand, are choosing something different. Something real. And that doesn’t mean you’re behind, that means you’re brave.

Truth #3: You’re Allowed to Grieve

So let’s talk about the grief that comes with healing.

We grieve the childhood we didn’t get, the choices we didn’t get to make, the years lost to numbing or pretending. We grieve the versions of ourselves that never got to fully be.

I still grieve. Not every day. But every so often, because grief isn’t a one-time wave, it’s a tide that comes and goes. And when we let ourselves feel it, rather than shame it or rush it, it becomes lighter. Less rigid. More sacred.

I’ve found that grieving with awareness allows me to meet my inner child with compassion, not pity. Grief is how we can keep moving forward without bypassing what’s been lost.

Truth #4: You’re Allowed to Dream Again

There was a long stretch of my life where dreaming felt pointless. Like why even bother imagining something different if life was just going to take it away?

That’s what trauma does, it convinces us that hope is a risk we can’t afford.

But once I began reclaiming agency over my life, something beautiful happened. I realized I could want again. I could imagine a future that wasn’t shaped by fear or self-doubt. I could choose desires that were mine, not inherited or adapted.

Dreaming again wasn’t easy, though. It felt awkward at first, like learning a new language. But with time, my dreams started to feel less like fantasies and more like plans. So with time, intention, and authentic choice, we can start to live a life shaped by conscious desire, not unconscious defense.

Truth #5: There Is Life After Trauma

This one is simple, but oh so powerful.

When we’re in the thick of it, when we’re still reacting, still on auto-pilot, still overwhelmed, it’s hard to believe there’s anything on the other side. Frankly, we don’t even recognize the despair because it’s been disguised as “normal” and the pain feels like permanence.

I’ve been there. I’ve stared down the wreckage of old patterns, wondering if I had it in me to rebuild anything worth living for. But I did. And you do too.

Your trauma may have shaped you, but it doesn’t get to define you. You are not the worst thing that ever happened to you. You are the one who made it through.

There is life after trauma. Not just existing, but living. Loving. Laughing. Creating. Choosing.

And it’s not reserved for other people only... It’s for you, too.

So, if you’re rebuilding your life after trauma, remember:

You’re not broken. You’re not behind. You’re allowed to grieve. You’re allowed to dream again. And yes, there is life after trauma.

I see you. And I believe in the life you’re creating, even if you’re still finding your way there.

To hear more about this and how these truths can support your healing, tune into this week’s episode of Ride Your Tide: #049: Five Truths to Remember During Your Healing Journey

All my love,

~ Austen 🫶🏼

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When Fear Isn’t Fear: Learning to Trust the Truth Beneath It