Set Yourself Free: Remembering Joy Beyond Dissociation
When we've lived in survival mode for a long time, it doesn’t just affect the big parts of our lives like relationships and careers—it quietly seeps into the tiniest details too.
Moments that once held magic—the feeling of sunlight on your skin, the sound of music filling a room—can start to feel distant.
We move through our days unconsciously, missing the richness of life happening around us.
Even when the survival storms have passed, many of us stay stuck in the old survival pattern of dissociation. We check out without even realizing it. We forget to ask ourselves simple questions like:
What do I actually want in this moment?
What would make me feel better right now? Quiet? Music? A lit candle? The windows open to let in the breeze?
The beauty is: we can relearn how to be present and we can choose to experience life again. How?
Here’s a simple two-anchor approach that can help reconnect with intentional choice:
Anchor 1: Twice-Daily Reflection
Start your mornings by setting an intention: "Today, I will choose presence." Or "Today, I will embrace my emotions instead of running from them."
By consciously inviting awareness at the beginning of the day, we prime our minds to notice when we're drifting into unconscious patterns.
At the end of the day, reflect gently and observe your behaviors:
Where was I present?
When did I check out?
What might I have been trying to avoid or escape from if I dissociated?
Reflection builds curiosity—and curiosity frees us from the grip of dissociation.
Anchor 2: Listen to Your Body
Throughout the day, our bodies are sending us signals:
Tightness in the chest
Mind racing in loops
An intuitive tug that says, “This isn’t what I really want.”
Instead of brushing past those signals, pause. Ask yourself: What am I feeling underneath this moment?
Maybe you realize you're distracting yourself with a particular activity, rather than consciously enjoying and engaging in that activity—And the thing to remember is, we don’t consciously distract ourselves… This oftentimes stems from us avoiding something bubbling beneath the surface.
When we honor that realization, we give ourselves permission to choose differently.
A New Way Forward
When we combine daily reflection with listening to our bodies, something beautiful happens: We remember how to be alive again.
We start to savor the music playing while we cook dinner. We feel the warmth of the sun on our face. We watch a movie because we want to, not because we’re escaping. We hold space for deeper conversations with the people we love.
All of this goes to show that the little things aren't little at all. They're life itself.
And the more we honor our emotions, process our experiences, and consciously reflect, the more fully we step back into living.
Wishing you all of the peace and presence in the world,
~ Austen 🫶🏼
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