Raising Anchor: How to Let Go of Old Patterns That No Longer Serve You
There’s a moment on every healing journey when one realizes: This pattern is no longer serving me.
Maybe it helped you survive at one point, overthinking, people-pleasing, shutting down, but now it’s getting in the way of how you truly want to live. And while the awareness is powerful, it can feel discouraging when change doesn’t come quickly.
The truth? Slow roots are strong roots.
Letting go isn’t about instantly becoming someone new. It’s about building trust, bit by bit, with the version of you that’s been buried beneath the survival patterns.
In this post, we’ll explore:
Why awareness is just the beginning
How old patterns begin to lose their grip once they’re seen
A 4-part framework to develop self-trust and set sail into a life of honesty
Awareness Is the First Step. Trust Is the Second.
Self-awareness is like turning on a light in a room you’ve lived in for years but never truly seen. But awareness alone doesn’t rewrite our patterns… trust does.
To truly let go, we must begin trusting ourselves: our voice, our choices, our boundaries, and our ability to move through challenges without abandoning ourselves.
And trust isn’t built in big, grand moments. It’s built through small, sacred ones, showing up for yourself consistently over time.
You’re Already At the Turning Point
Even if your patterns still show up, here’s a truth to remember: They no longer have the same power over you, because you can see them. That awareness alone begins to soften their grip. And from there, you get to choose differently.
Let me share a personal example: Growing up, I experienced a lot of criticism around my body image. Over time, I internalized that voice and became my own harshest critic, working out obsessively, picking apart my appearance, and starting nearly every morning with a negative thought about my body.
Eventually, I realized this pattern wasn’t mine to carry. It wasn’t me, it was a protective reaction.
That recognition didn’t erase the pattern overnight, but it changed everything. I began noticing the signals, what it felt like in my body when I slipped back into that behavior. Slowly, I learned to pause. To question. To choose differently.
The ROOT Framework: How to Develop Self-Trust
Letting go of old patterns means raising anchor and setting sail again, but this time, truthfully. Here’s a framework that can help us to do that, gently and intentionally:
1. Recognize the Rupture
Where did this pattern begin? What experience or environment taught you to doubt yourself?
We don’t need to forget the past, we need to honor it. That means creating space to feel, reflect, and learn from the wisdom our past offers. Reverence for where we’ve been is the foundation of transformation.
2. Observe Your Inner Voice
What are the stories you tell yourself, about who you are, what you’re worthy of, and what you’re capable of?
And don’t rush this process. Simply listen from a place of compassion and don’t judge what comes up for you. Observe things with curiosity and grace. Judgment says: “I’m failing.” Curiosity says: “I’m growing.”
Self-trust begins when we slow down enough to hear ourselves honestly, honor what comes up for us, and consciously move forward in a new way.
3. Offer Yourself Proof
Show yourself, through action, that you’re trustworthy. Keep the promises you make to yourself, especially the small ones. Speak up. Say no. Make choices that reflect your inner knowing. When we honor the small promises, we develop the capacity to honor the big ones, and these daily actions are the evidence your nervous system needs to feel safe letting go of old protection.
4. Tend to the Trust Daily
Self-trust is a relationship. And like any relationship, it requires consistency, compassion, communication, and respect.
Check in with yourself regularly. Create rituals that root you, journaling, meditation, quiet pauses throughout the day. Reflect on where you’ve been challenged and how you can continue deepening that connection with yourself.
And when you revert into an old pattern, don’t get down on yourself. Recognize that as the win it truly is, because you’ve seen it. And when you’ve seen it, you can change it.
Final Thought: Raising Your Anchor
Letting go of old patterns isn’t about force. It’s about devotion. Devotion to the version of you that’s ready to live fully. Devotion to showing up, even when it’s challenging or slow. Devotion to honoring where you’ve been, and where you’re going.
So give yourself grace, take your time, and remember… Slow roots are strong roots 😌
Sending all my love,
~ Austen 🫶🏼
If this resonated, I invite you to listen to this week’s episode of the podcast, Ride Your Tide, where I share more about this topic and walk you through the ROOT framework in real time.
🎧 Listen here: Episode #047: Raising Anchor: How to Let Go of Old Patterns That No Longer Serve You
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