Let Joy In: The Forgotten Part of Healing
Introduction
When most people think of healing, they picture hard work: therapy, reflection, journaling, shadow work, trauma recovery. And while all of that is extremely important, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that healing must always be heavy.
But there’s another layer… One that often gets buried under all the processing: Joy is part of healing too.
Not as a prize you get at the “end.” Not as a reward for “doing the work.” But as a regulating, recalibrating, and essential part of the journey.
Healing Is Not a Waiting Room for Joy
For those of us who’ve been in survival mode, joy can feel… foreign, or even unsafe. We’ve been conditioned to think joy is something we’re only allowed to feel once we’ve “fixed ourselves”... Once we’re more balanced, more healed, more “together.”
But here’s the truth: You don’t have to earn joy. You’re allowed to feel good even while you’re still figuring things out.
This isn't about bypassing your healing. It's about letting in light while you’re still in the dark, and realizing that the two can coexist.
The Nervous System + Joy: Why This Matters
Let’s bring the science in.
According to neuroscientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, an emotion, when experienced fully in the body, lasts approximately 90 seconds. That’s all. In under two minutes, the body can process an emotional wave if we don’t mentally loop it through narrative or judgment. This includes not only fear, anger, and sadness… but joy, too.
But here’s the thing: sometimes we don’t stay with joy long enough for it to actually register. We deflect it. We question it. We wait for the other shoe to drop. We’ve trained our nervous systems to scan for threat, not anchor in peace.
So the practice becomes this: Can I let joy stay in my body long enough for my nervous system to learn that it’s safe? Can I get through the 90 seconds of emotional movement and experience the other side of the fear or the judgement? If I can, then what happens?
That’s why I created the 3-Minute Joy Scan. This is a simple, daily practice designed to help you not only notice joy but actually integrate it.
The 3-Minute Joy Scan
A practice for nervous system regulation + emotional re-attunement
Set aside just three minutes. That’s it. No journaling required. You can do this while walking, sipping tea, or sitting quietly. It’s not about manufacturing joy, it’s about recognizing it, receiving it, and allowing it to land.
Here’s how it works… one minute per question:
Minute 1: What’s something that calls to me right now?
What feels inviting or alive to you? This could be anything: a song, an activity, a memory, a creative impulse. It doesn’t have to be practical, just true. Let yourself acknowledge what pulls you gently toward aliveness.
Example: Surfing is what called to me… And since I currently live in an area that doesn’t offer great surfing conditions, I asked myself what I could do on land to honor that. So… I thought about buying a longboard. That movement and expression is what called to me, and I’ll admit, I was hesitant to honor it. I doubted whether or not I should let myself have that.
So, what calls to you?
Minute 2: Where in my body do I feel a sense of ease?
Tune in to the body. When you feel into what’s calling you, do your shoulders drop? Did you smile when you thought of that activity? Breathe deeper? Get goosebumps?
Let your nervous system register this feeling of ease, not as a rare fluke, but as something safe and repeatable.
For me: My whole body loosened… I found my exhale… I noticed that I was moving with presence rather than with overthinking, chest tightness, and whole-body tension. I was finally in the moment.
So what do you feel, and where?
Minute 3: What’s one small thing I can choose right now that would bring me joy?
This is where the noticing becomes the embodiment. Don’t just think about it… do it. Open the window. Play the song. Text the friend. Brew the tea. Dance in the kitchen. Let yourself have the joy. Integration happens when we act from what we notice.
In my case: I finally bought the longboard. I thought about it for weeks, and like I said, I was hesitant to give that to myself… But man, as soon as it got delivered and I took my first ride, I felt like I finally tapped into honesty. I was finally home.
So, what can you do for yourself? And let yourself have it.
Why Three Minutes?
This timing is intentional.
The first 90 seconds (based on the neuroscience) help shift the nervous system from reaction to response. When we initially have feelings of fear or discomfort around joy, these first 90 seconds allows us to move past those.
The second 90 seconds allow us to anchor into what we’re feeling… so it’s not just a flash of joy, but a regulated experience that the body can start to trust.
In total, you’re giving your system enough space to move through fear or resistance, and then land softly in something positive.
Final Words
You don’t have to wait until everything is “fixed” to feel good. Healing is a lifelong journey, meaning that if we are open to it, we are always learning about ourselves in new ways. Based on that, if we were to wait until we were “fully heald”... We’d never let ourselves experience joy. So remember this:
You’re worthy of joy, right now, as you are, always… And you’re safe to let it in.
If This Resonated
If this spoke to you, I explore this topic in depth on this week’s episode of the podcast, Ride Your Tide, which you can access here, #052: You Don’t Have to Wait for Joy ~ I hope you dig it!
As always, all my love,
~ Austen 🫶🏼
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